cerebral palsy

[nickv1980]

I'm not generally one to talk about life's problems ....

Anyway my 17 month old has cerebral palsy ....

He was born on the 6/6/2012 with severe hypoxia at birth which was caused by a lack of oxygen and it literally killed his brain cells from a very acidic ph level in his blood stream ..

To me it doesn't change a god damn thing ... i don't even think about it , he's a bright little boy i don't take much notice of his faults ... Yes he has them and mainly physical .

He's my boy i love him its my first born child my only child ... he makes me happy in my darkest moments and i struggle a lot from my own depression .. he is the best thing thats ever come into my life ....

The most troubling thing about his disability is his mothers concern and worries.. she is the love of my life my soon to be wife ... she can't get over how life has played out for my little boy , its her first born and no woman can ever imagine this to ever happen ...

i realise this and understand it .... I know it still plays on her day after day and she feels like there is something she could of done to prevent it ... ( there wasn't ) **** happens ..

But yeah Its killing her inside she lets it play on her mind and i don't know what to say anymore .....

I'm a strong man i do the best i can .. and to be honest when its brought up i don't wanna hear it but...... i will still listen she's got every right to be hurt and upset ... I've delt with it and i accept it and i understand her side of the situation.... yeah it sucks ... i just don't dwell on the past dunno how to tell her to except it and move on i don't wanna be a **** about it all ..... its a very touchy subject obviously . . . .

 

[Cordogs]

First of all, congratulations on being a Dad dude!

I'm sorry to here that things aren't well at the moment mate, and I don't think anyone could blame your fiancé for feeling like that. It's a terrible situation to find yourself in self blame.
I have to take my hat off to you though bloke!
Handling this like an absolute boss, there are many self proclaimed big men in the world but the biggest are guys just like you in situations just like yours handling them just how you are mate, good for you!
I'm no psychologist, but sounds like your dearly beloved needs some professional guidance, someone to show her steps on how to cope with situation. Is she a reader? Maybe some books might help. I know that guy who does the marathons with his son who has cerebral palsy has written a book, some inspirational words of wisdom in there for sure!

Good luck with it mate, keep at. It's hard to be the support all the time mate. But somebody's got to be.

 

[nickv1980]

Cheers buddy thanks for the kind words mate .... She has depression pretty badly now because of it .. I did get her to go to the doctor and he pretty much advised her to seek professional help and also put her on meds .. but that only lasted a few weeks at best she thinks there's nothing wrong . I have to disagree though I see it and she's very withdrawn and stressed out . She even chucked her job in because it was too much for her and I honestly dont mind ...anything that makes her life a little bit better and easier is good

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[gottagetacheaperhobby]

wow mate, it must be really hard to see the change in your fiance when she doesn't, i must agree with cordogs you are handling it extremely well. stories like yours, while incredibly sad, do a lot to restore my faith in humanity. I'm sure you are doing everything in your power to make life a little easier for your dearly loved family and you should be proud of that fact, there are to many who walk away in such a hard situation.
Is there any help/support you could maybe reach out to for some guidance? i hope you can find a way to show your fiance that no matter your little mans disability you are still both incredibly lucky to have your son.

 

[Stubsy]

well said cordogs. One thing that is a big factor is how supportive you are for her. Big respect for that mate. Nothing is easy to deal with when it involves your children. Books sound like a great idea, at least that way she doesn't have the fear of being judged by doctors etc. Small steps first then it may lead to her accepting something isn't right and then you can deal with it togther. Stick at it mate, hold your head high.

 

[8r3nd0]

This is a really heavy subject Mate that I haven't got words to express my thoughts for you both.
Very recently one of my best mates lost his son because of a very similar thing but was a hospital blunder he was 10 months old.
Another mate a few years back lost one of his twin boys at birth and the other still needs to be hooked up to oxygen for 4 hrs a day.
I'm with Corey distraction is the key I think find something anything to clear mind.
I have a slight understanding but really I don't either but just wish the very best for you guys you guys will pull through and have a closer bonded family then most could ever dream of. You have my number if you ever think I can help with anything.

 

[Cordogs]

Here's a link to Team Hoyt Nick. A truly inspirational story. They also do meet n greets as well as speak to large groups all over Australia. Not sure if you've seen them?

http://www.teamhoyt.com/index.html

 

[nickv1980]

Cheers brother

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