jayden-pitbikez
Well-Known Member
what did the farmer say when he couldnt find his tractor
wheres my tractor
bahahaha
wheres my tractor
bahahaha
Official "jokes" thread.
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jayden-pitbikez
Well-Known Member
bhahahahah
crazzy #1
Well-Known Member
leb jokes
what do you call a leb stoned?... hammed
what do you call a leb even more stoned?.. morhammed
what do you call a leb stoned?... hammed
what do you call a leb even more stoned?.. morhammed
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jayden-pitbikez
Well-Known Member
hahahhahahaha
Delza125
Well-Known Member
wat do santa and michael jackson have in common on christmas day for little kids?? they both empty there sacks for them!
jayden-pitbikez
Well-Known Member
why dus santa have such a big sack?
he only cums once a year
he only cums once a year
sik-pj
Well-Known Member
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- Sep 15, 2006
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lmao hahahahhahahahahaah that was the best one OMG thats so funny good one mate
sik-pj
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Sep 15, 2006
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hahahhahaahha good one kris lmao
a dude is trying to find a car park
hes driving and driving
1 hour 2 hour
hes stressing out...
he looks up to god and says
lord if u give me a car park (space) ill commit my self to ur relidion
ill stop cheating on my wife
ill stop stealing from my mates
ill give money to the poor
ill go to church to every day
sudenly a space pops outa no where
the man looks up to god and says...
NA DONT WORRY I FOUND ONE
(ps sorry about spell)
hes driving and driving
1 hour 2 hour
hes stressing out...
he looks up to god and says
lord if u give me a car park (space) ill commit my self to ur relidion
ill stop cheating on my wife
ill stop stealing from my mates
ill give money to the poor
ill go to church to every day
sudenly a space pops outa no where
the man looks up to god and says...
NA DONT WORRY I FOUND ONE
(ps sorry about spell)
firsttimer
Well-Known Member
your mama is so fat her belt size is equator
your mama is so skinny u can see her farts coming
use are so dirty u wipe ure feet to go outside the house
use are so poor i stood on a lit cigeret but and ure mum said"hay who turend off the heater"
your mama is so skinny u can see her farts coming
use are so dirty u wipe ure feet to go outside the house
use are so poor i stood on a lit cigeret but and ure mum said"hay who turend off the heater"
mohahahahahah.
the phoenix
Member
santa claus a clever blonde and a brunette jumped off a building who hit the ground first
the brunnette the other two don't exist
the brunnette the other two don't exist
cass38a
Well-Known Member
What do you call a lebanese guy in hospital?
Fully Sick!
Fully Sick!
shooter114
New Member
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2008
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- 4
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- 0
what do you call a blonde standing on her head?
a brunette with bad breath!
Whats the difference between michael jackson and acne ?
acne doesnt come on your face until your at least 12
what do u call a kiwi with 2 sheep under his arms?
a pimp!
Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local neighbourhood
tavern. Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar
so intoxicated that he could barely walk.
The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the
officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his
keys on five vehicles, the man managed to find his car, which he fell into. He
was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar
and drove off.
Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a
fine dry night), flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted the horn
and then switched on the lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few cm, reversed a little and then
remained stationary for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left.
At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down
the road. The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now
started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled
the man over and carried out a breathalyser test.
To his amazement the breathalyser indicated no evidence of the man's
intoxication.
The police officer said 'I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the
Police station - this breathalyser equipment must be faulty`
'I doubt it,' said the man, 'tonight I'm the designated decoy'
A young man moved into a new apartment of his own and went to the
lobby to put his name on his mailbox.
While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment
next to the mailboxes, wearing a robe.
The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation
with him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she
had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to
maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on
his arm and said,"Let's go to my apartment,.... I hear someone
coming."
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned
against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.
Now n*ude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best
feature?"
Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be
your ears."
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these
b*reasts; they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and
my b*utt is firm and solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere.
How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"
Clearing his throat, he stammered ....
"Outside, when you said you heard someone coming............................ that was me."
a blonde women and a man are sitting in a bar. the highlights to the 10 pm news come on there is a man standing on top of a building. the man goes to the blonde i bet $100 he jumps the blonde agrees. the news comes on and the man jumps. the man turns to the blonde and says i am sorry i can't take your money i seen the 6 o'clock news. the blonde replies with so did i. but i did'nt think he would jump twice.
a brunette with bad breath!
Whats the difference between michael jackson and acne ?
acne doesnt come on your face until your at least 12
what do u call a kiwi with 2 sheep under his arms?
a pimp!
Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local neighbourhood
tavern. Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar
so intoxicated that he could barely walk.
The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the
officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his
keys on five vehicles, the man managed to find his car, which he fell into. He
was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar
and drove off.
Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a
fine dry night), flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted the horn
and then switched on the lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few cm, reversed a little and then
remained stationary for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left.
At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down
the road. The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now
started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled
the man over and carried out a breathalyser test.
To his amazement the breathalyser indicated no evidence of the man's
intoxication.
The police officer said 'I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the
Police station - this breathalyser equipment must be faulty`
'I doubt it,' said the man, 'tonight I'm the designated decoy'
A young man moved into a new apartment of his own and went to the
lobby to put his name on his mailbox.
While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment
next to the mailboxes, wearing a robe.
The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation
with him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she
had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to
maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on
his arm and said,"Let's go to my apartment,.... I hear someone
coming."
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned
against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.
Now n*ude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best
feature?"
Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be
your ears."
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these
b*reasts; they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and
my b*utt is firm and solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere.
How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"
Clearing his throat, he stammered ....
"Outside, when you said you heard someone coming............................ that was me."
a blonde women and a man are sitting in a bar. the highlights to the 10 pm news come on there is a man standing on top of a building. the man goes to the blonde i bet $100 he jumps the blonde agrees. the news comes on and the man jumps. the man turns to the blonde and says i am sorry i can't take your money i seen the 6 o'clock news. the blonde replies with so did i. but i did'nt think he would jump twice.
How to get our of a speeding ticket...
a guy was driving down the road and gets pulled over by a cop
Cop: sir you were speeding may i have your license.
Driver: Sorry officer i think i left my wallet in my other jacket.
Cop: can i see your paper work?
Driver: sure officer im sure i saw it in the glovebox next to my gun.
Cop: Sir have you got a gun license?
Driver: sure thing my license should be in the boot next to the dead body.
Cop: sir im gonna ask you to stay here.
The cop goes and Radio's in the Sarge.
The sarge gets there.
Sarge: sir im gonna ask you to get out of the car.
Driver: sure thing mate.
Sarge: can you get me your Car license?
Driver: sure here it is.
Sarge: can i look in your glovebox?
Driver: sure.
Sarge looks in glovebox no gun...
Sarge: can i look in you boot?
Driver: sure..
Sarge looks in the boot no body..
Driver: can you belive that cop reckons i was speeding too.
Hahahaha
a guy was driving down the road and gets pulled over by a cop
Cop: sir you were speeding may i have your license.
Driver: Sorry officer i think i left my wallet in my other jacket.
Cop: can i see your paper work?
Driver: sure officer im sure i saw it in the glovebox next to my gun.
Cop: Sir have you got a gun license?
Driver: sure thing my license should be in the boot next to the dead body.
Cop: sir im gonna ask you to stay here.
The cop goes and Radio's in the Sarge.
The sarge gets there.
Sarge: sir im gonna ask you to get out of the car.
Driver: sure thing mate.
Sarge: can you get me your Car license?
Driver: sure here it is.
Sarge: can i look in your glovebox?
Driver: sure.
Sarge looks in glovebox no gun...
Sarge: can i look in you boot?
Driver: sure..
Sarge looks in the boot no body..
Driver: can you belive that cop reckons i was speeding too.
Hahahaha