The MR Community - Mental And General Health Support, resources and Discussion

[rotn50]

Hey nick, its the same with you champ, everything you have done for me I can't mention buddy, anytime you need to talk or text I'm here, anytime mate. Anyone is welcome to call or text me. Chin up dude and if you feel that blackdog coming your way you know what to do, seek help mate, thru hear or a gp. Mine packed up and left a few years ago also, no reason. I'm now still single and worry about being treated the same way and find it hard to want to commit. Come to Townsville dude and we can cut laps together. Don't let this beat you mate, where all here for ya in more ways then one. Mick

 

[motorman]

Hey nick, its the same with you champ, everything you have done for me I can't mention buddy, anytime you need to talk or text I'm here, anytime mate. Anyone is welcome to call or text me. Chin up dude and if you feel that blackdog coming your way you know what to do, seek help mate, thru hear or a gp. Mine packed up and left a few years ago also, no reason. I'm now still single and worry about being treated the same way and find it hard to want to commit. Come to Townsville dude and we can cut laps together. Don't let this beat you mate, where all here for ya in more ways then one. Mick

Cheers Mick really appreciated mate.

How did you get your head straight after your ex packed up and left?

If I had of seen it coming it may not have been so bad but I'm still just a bit shocked. Few mates are telling me to just go and bang other chicks but I have just lost a lot of faith in women after this.

I know I will be ok eventually. Just going to take time. This has made me reevaluate my life in a lot of ways. I just want to come out the other side a stronger person.

 

[zorro]

My ex left me with 17k debt, manipulated my friends, caused my family problems as for 3yrs kept it up. Tried to claim join ownership of vehicles and committed fraud trying to get a GE Credit card through her work in my name, stupid ***** though I'd moved to Melbourne 2yrs before...

Anyway mate, it's a **** time so don't destroy yourself. Get out of the house, go visit mates and keep busy. Let the dust settle and try and sort things out.

 

[rotn50]

My ex left me with 17k debt, manipulated my friends, caused my family problems as for 3yrs kept it up. Tried to claim join ownership of vehicles and committed fraud trying to get a GE Credit card through her work in my name, stupid ***** though I'd moved to Melbourne 2yrs before...

Anyway mate, it's a **** time so don't destroy yourself. Get out of the house, go visit mates and keep busy. Let the dust settle and try and sort things out.

Hey nick, i was doing okay for the first 2 weeks, i did have time off work so that helped as i couldnt be at work knowing all the questions being asked i would of broken down. After the 2 weeks the depression just smashed me and escaped to townsville from mackay to be with family, I just coped barely as time went by, but the medication i had to be on was hell for afew weeks, but the thing that hurt the most was not having a reason, well i know now for sure she left me for another bloke and had a baby to him, that hurt bad as we were going to try for a baby ourselves that week and knowing this still hurts but i had to go to a councillor and just get a different perspective on things which helped me accept that not everything is forever, its cool going out to hook up with other chicks but it doesnt sort out whats happening in your head and can also make you lose all respect for all women in general.

Time is what heals mate, i look in the mirror and tell myself im better off and if thats the person she is i dont want anything to do with her, i dont know if i will ever trust a woman again but havent lost hope in finding that special person again, truly giving up on them for a few years is better than i thought apart from missing the companionship of a partner. I can do what i want when i want and dont have to explain anything or worry about a small fib turning into world war 3. I can be me. Dont try and seek an answer as to why she left just tell yourself she did you a favour, get stuck into hobbies or the site alot more, since becoming owner you said you dont get much time to read threads, maybe now this is your time mate. I have been on here i think everyday since getting better and this is my lifeline. The people who i consider close friends on miniriders and i dont even know what they look like is crazy lol. Dont hesitate to call or text or PM mate, i feel your pain and helps me help others be strong thru weak periods. Your a champ and noone can change that nick, not even your x. Chin up mate, i got your back also. Mick

 

[motorman]

Hey nick, i was doing okay for the first 2 weeks, i did have time off work so that helped as i couldnt be at work knowing all the questions being asked i would of broken down. After the 2 weeks the depression just smashed me and escaped to townsville from mackay to be with family, I just coped barely as time went by, but the medication i had to be on was hell for afew weeks, but the thing that hurt the most was not having a reason, well i know now for sure she left me for another bloke and had a baby to him, that hurt bad as we were going to try for a baby ourselves that week and knowing this still hurts but i had to go to a councillor and just get a different perspective on things which helped me accept that not everything is forever, its cool going out to hook up with other chicks but it doesnt sort out whats happening in your head and can also make you lose all respect for all women in general.

Time is what heals mate, i look in the mirror and tell myself im better off and if thats the person she is i dont want anything to do with her, i dont know if i will ever trust a woman again but havent lost hope in finding that special person again, truly giving up on them for a few years is better than i thought apart from missing the companionship of a partner. I can do what i want when i want and dont have to explain anything or worry about a small fib turning into world war 3. I can be me. Dont try and seek an answer as to why she left just tell yourself she did you a favour, get stuck into hobbies or the site alot more, since becoming owner you said you dont get much time to read threads, maybe now this is your time mate. I have been on here i think everyday since getting better and this is my lifeline. The people who i consider close friends on miniriders and i dont even know what they look like is crazy lol. Dont hesitate to call or text or PM mate, i feel your pain and helps me help others be strong thru weak periods. Your a champ and noone can change that nick, not even your x. Chin up mate, i got your back also. Mick

Yeah I'm slowly getting there. Some days are better than others. I'm a bit worried about the depression but I think if I can keep myself busy I will be right. Going to get back into the gym hardcore as I used to love doing that and helps get that anger out.

Yeah not many people know yet so kind of dreading telling people what happened especially when I don't even really know myself. Bit harder to as I still work with her mum as well. I'm dreading talking to the family and telling them what happened. They all loved her and my sister is best friends with her so don't know what is going to happen there. Like to think blood is thicker than water but who know's she may not speak to me as well.

Thanks for taking the time to tell us your story Mick. It has helped me a lot. Miniriders will be my life blood to help me get through.

I am looking forward to the riding season this year as it's going to get a working every weekend.

 

[Cordogs]

Really sorry to here about you and your girl Nick, I to have had a few long term relationships go south. But Zorro's on the money mate the one thing I found most important after all those years of bad choices in women, was to stay busy. It's going to be a bit of a rough ride for a while mate, but you sound like a smart bloke. Healthy body = healthy mind. Get to the gym, get some fresh air into your lungs! Be careful not to build yourself to big of a wall either mate, I nearly lost my now wife because I wouldn't let her in emotionally. You'll get thru this mate, especially with this massive network of friends you have!

All the best pal...

 

[motorman]

Really sorry to here about you and your girl Nick, I to have had a few long term relationships go south. But Zorro's on the money mate the one thing I found most important after all those years of bad choices in women, was to stay busy. It's going to be a bit of a rough ride for a while mate, but you sound like a smart bloke. Healthy body = healthy mind. Get to the gym, get some fresh air into your lungs! Be careful not to build yourself to big of a wall either mate, I nearly lost my now wife because I wouldn't let her in emotionally. You'll get thru this mate, especially with this massive network of friends you have!

All the best pal...

Appreciate the support mate.

Yeah going to stay as busy as possible even though I feel like doing nothing. If I do that I can see I will get myself into a huge hole and lose the plot.

It's going to be hard to put the wall down if I ever hook up with another chick. I mean after 4 and a half years I thought we could work through anything but I was very wrong. I don't know how I'm going to trust another women without being paranoid she is just going to walk out without a reason. Don't want to do that to myself again.

I guess all things happen for a reason. I must say I'm humbled by everyone rallying around members that are a bit down in the dumps. That's what really makes this forum a tight nit community and something I'm proud to be a part of.

 

[Cordogs]

There All Sisters They Just Live In Different houses!


Words to live by I reckon!

 

[Rodney68]

Nick, Mick and Ash thanks for telling your stories its step one on the path of dealing with the things you guys are going through. Not talking and not saying how you feel etc will just eat you up inside i know thats what i did and like you guys are saying keeping yourself busy and active it helps greatly. This is a great site here at Miniriders it is like a big family and this thread is a great part of it. It can and does help so many people to start on a path of healing and dealing with the things in their life that are troubling them. Its an old saying but a good one and one i live by now time is a great healer specially with help etc from other people and doctors and medication if needed. Its great that we are here for each other in these times when we need it and if you guys need someone to talk to im here all you have to do is PM me.
Cheers Rodney.

 

[motorman]

It was bloody hard to type mate I know that.

Your right though, getting it out helps a lot but I'm really struggling today.

Just coming home and seeing all her stuff gone and all the photo's on the wall of all the good times we shared is just gut wrenching.

 

[Cordogs]

Hey have you thought about talking to a professional about all of this mate, it's really refreshing to talk to someone who know more about your feelings than you do trust me! At least then they can give you some steps to help you through the harder times.

This includes everyone in this forum if money's tight you can get a referral from your Gp and Medicare will pick up most of the tab. Worth looking into anyway.

Just a heads up, those of you are looking at getting some personal insurance down the track. Most insurance agencies will give you an exclusion in mental health coverage once you have the referral.

 

[rotn50]

I personally saw a GP and did a mental health report and was sent to a place called headspace which was covered by medicare and cost me zero, the mental health system after so many years is working for me, and as we all know you dont have to be insane,depressed,anxious or suicidal to be accepted, my psych said she had a lot of people who actually thought the world was going to end when the mayan calendar did and it really distressed them. If anyone is distressed and has feelings that normally are not associated with everyday life, see someone and talk and learn how to manage and live an awesome life.

On the other hand, i completely understand what you are saying nick about trusting and being burnt again, i wont seek another woman again, im leaving it up to fate and when that hottie wants to seek me than all good but it will be different this time around and i will never change for anyone again. I an scared to feel like i did when my x left suddenly and is frightening to think about going into depression again, it really is and i think about it all the time. I do a lot of looking in the mirror and talking to myself. When i was down i did a bit of retail therapy at the bike shops and impulse buying on ebay, sounds silly but it did help and so did time. Try and keep normal patterns nick and normal routines, its okay to have a few down days hanging around thinking and wondering but you just dont get into a routine, i want to see the motorman at vcm and killing it on the pitty. Dont hesitate to get onto me bro, well bros, thats all of you.

 

[Cordogs]

Well said Mick +1 from me mate!

 

[Killpatrickyum]

Been out of the loop for a while, hope your all good Nick, personally I know how you feel too, it seems its always the "nice guy that gets screwed but time does heal, even if it seems like it’s never going to happen.
I was seeing a girl and was in a very similar situation to you after 5 years and all that we had been through i went and payed off her credit card, bought her a new car and gave her the world. I had to go away for work for almost a month and wanted her to be covered for anything so I left her my credit card for an "emergency" if needed......Apparently she had some major emergency’s while I was gone because when I returned my card was about $2 away from being maxed out to 6K and all her stuff was gone as well as one of my guitars and some of my furniture.... needless to say I was shattered, living oblivious to the real deal I found it extremely hard to get over.. Going home to an empty house was more than difficult so I wouldn’t go home from work, instead straight to the pub until I could barely walk and the more than stupid and irresponsible I would drive home and pass out.
I just didn’t care anymore, nothing mattered and losing my partner and my faith in having the life I had always dreamed of with the whole white picket fence ideal was gone. It took me a long time to get back on my feet but definitely keeping yourself busy in a productive way helps a lot, getting out on the bike and getting involved with MR helped me more than any words could ever express, seeing friends and moving on to allow yourself to be yourself again comes with time.
I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason even if you can’t see it at the time. The world works in some mysterious and stuffed up ways sometimes but it’s how you pick yourself up and keep going that makes you stronger, you will learn love and loose but by surrounding yourself with positive things will in the end bring you all that you desire.
Keep your chin up and know that no matter what... you were you , before you were an “US” and you and you managed fine before so there is no reason why you cant again.

 

[motorman]

Yeah getting there mate.

Thanks for sharing your story.

I can't believe the support I have had from the site it's bloody amazing and I can't say thanks enough. Hope I can return the favor one day.

The worse part is definitely going home to an empty house. My dogs have helped a lot with that as they are great company and always seem to pick me up when I'm having not such a good day.

 

[tim_]

it will get easier.. and yep the dogs will help mate.. animals in general are great..they will always love you no mater what you yell at them.. and they will always be excited to see you and will always be the first one there to meet you when you get home... when i was working on a cattle station out near Muttabara i had to deal with server loneliness(2 and half hours drive to the neighbors and a head stockman that used to go off doin his own thing all the time) . thing that got me through it was the horse i was assigned and the kelpi-coli cross i had... the horse would follow me around the yards and i did not need a bike to muster them could just walk to the horse paddock of a morning and there he was waiting for work..
the dog would be with me almost 24/7 only time he wasn't around was when we need to dingo bait...bloody loved it when i went hunting feral cats and kangaroos.. loved to work hard and love to mess around on the weekends.. no matter what/ when/ where/ who he would always be there havin a go.. and would never complain moan or carry on.. would just love to be with me doin what im doin..

 

[rotn50]

Well done boys, your support is 2nd to none.

 

[bulldog93]

All you boys sharing your stories is amazing. Its a big step and very brave.

If any body ever wants to talk. I'm more then happy to listen. Just send me a PM and we can chat.

 

[Rodney68]

Thanks bulldog93

 

[rotn50]

Thats great bulldog, thanks very much mate. On behalf of myself and all miniriders that kind of support from another long time member is a credit to you, and the legacy lives on from the legends that bought us miniriders here together.