The MR Community - Mental And General Health Support, resources and Discussion

[Rodney68]

and if you ever want to feel refreshed and new, call mick (rotn50). spent 3 hours on the phone with him this morning and he no's how to make you feel good again. i no he has had his hard times but he is a genuine nice bloke that will do anything for people that don't **** in his pocket. there should be a nice guy award on mr lol, mick would get all the votes. he has been through hell but is willing to get you out of the **** if he can. MATE YOUR A TRUE FRIEND, thanks ben........ rant over.........

I totally agree with everything you said Ben. Mick is a top bloke and a all around nice genuine guy that will help anyone in need for advice or someone to talk too. I have PM Mick many times for advice on lots of things bike related and not bike related. Yes if there was a nice guy award Mick would win hands down Ben. I class him as a TRUE MATE AND A GREAT FRIEND i would be there if he needs someone to talk to also and Mick knows that. It doesnt suprise me that you was on the phone with Mick for 3 hours he wouldn't let you go until he knew that you was ok and that he had helped you with what was troubling you thats the sort of guy he is. So if you are feeling down and out and needing someone to talk to PM Mick or myself i know that both of us will not judge you we know that life can be hard at times. It's better to talk to someone then bottling it up it's no good for you or your family to do that. Mick is a great listener so take him up on his offer if you need someone to talk to i can bet that you will feel better doing so. One of lifes true gentlemen Mick is and im proud and very lucky to have Mick as a mate.

 

[rotn50]

Ben and rod you guys have had your fair share of life dramas beyond what most would see as extreme. And to be where yas are now with families and loving better halfs, you blokes are the ones I look up to, one day I'm hoping to have again what you blokes are enjoying and know it will happen, but its most important to make sure you heal yourself than hoping someone else can do it for you. Sometimes you may never fully repair but learning to manage your life and dramas is the best it may get. You blokes have looked after me and I am indebt to you both

 

[Rodney68]

Your welcome Mick you know that your time will come when you leased expect it that special woman will come into your life. It's true Mick its important to make sure you heal yourself or learn to manage your life and its dramas that pop up than hoping someone else can do it for you. Your a top bloke Mick and a good mate :grinning-smiley-003

 

[Phil67]

Wow heavy stuff, do you guys need the number of a good hotel or anything?

 

[rotn50]

have you bothered reading beyond this page phil?

 

[rotn50]

As most of you are aware, the miniriders landscape has changed forever due to the loss of two of our finest, DVDRip (James) and thump*140 (Tom). It is the dialogue about depression, mental health and suicide that they have opened up for us, and as indicated in the responses to a couple of threads, a dialogue that many are keen to maintain and contribute to. This thread is here to promote discussion, the sharing of stories (both personal and those of loved ones) and the offering of support and friendship from the MR community. More than anything else, above bikes and riding, the most important thing we have, and what makes this such a special place is our sense of community.

This will be a highly emotional thread. Please be respectful of each other and each others opinions and feelings even if you do not agree with them. Please remember that sometimes there will posts from some of our younger members, they may not be able to express themselves as eloquently as others, so be mindful of that before having a go at them. More than any other thread on the forum, this is one where we ask you think about what you post, and review your post before you post it. This is not the place for flaming or any personal attacks on members.

Everyone's view and experience is relevant, even if it differs from yours. Disagreements, alternative points of view and open discussion is encouraged but personal attacks will not be tolerated.

......................

 

[motorman]

Wow heavy stuff, do you guys need the number of a good hotel or anything?

I suggest you have a good read of this thread from the start. This is serious stuff. Mental illness and just having a hard time in life is something that happens to a lot of people. This thread is a place for people to share and vent and have the whole community behind them.

Not the place for silly jokes...

 

[Cordogs]

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool,
Than open ones mouth and remove all doubt!

Mark twain.



Food for thought!

 

[zorro]

Wow heavy stuff, do you guys need the number of a good hotel or anything?

I'm not going to chastise you in any way, some people are uneducated and don't have good understanding of mental health or the effects of major moments in their lives. The thread is quite good and would be a good sight for some that have ever felt that there is a chance that something isn't right in their lives or more importantly a friend, relative, work colleague.

 

[DHZ_XR8cing]

Phil needs to read the whole post and re think what he wrote because this is a very serious post and is not here for the purpose of laughter at anyones expense

 

[Rodney68]

Phil needs to read the whole post and re think what he wrote because this is a very serious post and is not here for the purpose of laughter at anyones expense

So true many men and women die every year because of mental illness and parts of their life they have trouble dealing with. For many people they think suicide is the only way out they bottle their troubles up and dont talk to anyone about it. In the end not talking about it and not seeking help eats them up inside they put on a brave face for everyone but deep down they are hurting bad. Its comments like Phils is the reason why so many people dont speak out because of fear of being laughed at and bullied. I know this because i once was one of these people that never talked about my troubles and just bottled it up inside. The only way i could get away from these troubles was drugs and booze. I was a alcoholic and regular drug user for more then 20 years because i didnt want to talk about my troubles it was my way of forgeting them. Doing this for more than 20 years to myself has brought on differant forms of mental illnesses. Im not saying these things for pitty from anyone im saying these things to help anyone out there DONT DO WHAT I DID SEEK HELP FROM SOMEONE. Like i said in my earlier post i have lost a close family member who took his life because he couldnt deal with his troubles and thought suicide was the only way out. Its not easy for me to talk about this to you guys but if by saying this helps one person its all been worth it. If i get crap from the Phil's of this world i dont care im use to it and like i said if it helps someone not to do what i did its worth it or worst what our family member did. On a better note i have been alcohol free for over 4 years and drug free for even longer and have a wonderful wife now and a great stepson that i think the world of. So i can do it you can to, seek help by getting in touch with the contacts at the very start of this post or talk to Mick or myself by PM your not alone help is here all you have to do is ask.

 

[rotn50]

Congrats rod for the strength it has taken to tell your story, Nobody likes talking about there demons and problems of the past. Mental health in the past was looked down upon and there basically was no help, its only in the last few years(well in my case anyway) that the mental health system has stood up and help has been delivered.

To read about your story rod and see that over so many years of self destruction that you have pulled thru and now look forward to everyday instead of drowning your probs in booze and drugs is a very positive thing for those affected and those that know of somebody affected by this horrific illness. And the fact that there is somewhere for you and i to tell our life stories is a great thing, i for one have not seen another forum of such brotherhood where you can openly talk about these issues and be accepted for who we are.
Mental illness comes in many forms and the main thing to remember is when you feel like you have nothing to be around for and you feel lost and worthless there is options, if you have a caring family or friends reach out to them and just talk, i personally went to a doctor and received medicare funded help to see a psychiatrist and learn about my illness, you dont really find a cure for this but more so learn to manage your life and take on skills taught to you about dealing with moments of fear, worthlessness and worry, trust me im 35 and still hear voices to this day that tell me negative thoughts that i have to deal with and manage due to long term drug use, relaxation techniques sound silly but you only need to find one that works and in my case breathing techniques calm me enough to carry on like normal(and anti-depressants and anxiety medication) but never knew about it until i was told, But seek help, like rod said contact us thru pm or a post as you are never alone, and if you think your to afraid to talk about it then read this whole thread and if myself and others can do it you can to, life is about survival. As rod said, at the start of this thread on page 1 is a huge amount of links and sites you can read thru and contact or just browse there sites to get an understanding, but unless you reach out family, friends and others dont know how much your suffering and if you ever do anything silly they will be left with this guilt of not being able to help even though they did not know. Feel free to contact me anytime, anyday:boink:

 

[berlina304]

well said to everyone who posted after/ replied to phils post. i don't give a **** what he said, what i said is my opinion because mick has been there for me through a few hard times and i no that this isn't just me that he has had the time for weather its for just someone to talk to or ask about problems with bikes. he is willing to help everyone that ask's. i will stick by my last post, he is a true friend and a champion bloke. sorry mick, i tried but just couldn't help myself.

 

[berlina304]

Haha had to read twice to see what you removed timeeh. all good cheers mate. i thought you ddeleted the whole post. glad i got a say considering some idiot had a crack at me. sorry timeeh.

 

[krazed0451]

If you have a hard time talking about your issues (especially if they are related to anxiety, but depression as well), there is a CBT program that is delivered online. You don't even need to see a doctor to do this, there is a 'self help' section on the website linked below, however I would recommend following the option on the website that has you manage the course with your GP if you can manage that.

It was covered on the third part of this series.
You can read more about it here.

Motorman - Can you please ad this to the first page?

 

[rotn50]

Thanks for the links krazed, its important for those that are not comfortable talking to have options available to them to seek help.

 

[Rodney68]

Thats so true Mick

 

[zorro]

I ended up just reading this thread start to finish. It's amazing that out of all the forums I am on or have been on this is the first open discussion on this sort of thing. I was somewhat inspired to write about my past and present, while it isn't a Disney story and some may see it as a 'you made your own bed' and self inflicted ill do my best to show how I believe at best I was only responsible for 70% of what I live with every day.

I grew up in a good family, we luckily had a bit of money due to a successful family business although did live fairly modest. We were brought up right without being spoonfed and taught rights from wrongs, even if that was enforced with a belting. It wasn't until I was a lot older that I pieced some things together but I won't elaborate now.

Aside from home went to good schools, had lots of friends, played sports etc etc. normal life I suppose. I was a bit of a ratbag as a youngun though, had a heap of tests done they thought I had ADD and went to a psych only to be given the all clear. Never had an issue socializing, got the girls, in the popular group blah blah blah...

Move forward some years and got into the drink, shagging etc and still seemed to be a normal life. Smoked a bit of pot, worked, went out and had a long term gf who I lived with. Spent money on cars an all the fun stuff, and then by a strange event found myself in possession of a bag of pills. That seemed to open a new world to me, new friends, activities, money.....and opened a lot of doors. I still worked full time but found myself in a parallel life Thursday to Sunday and then when I did the maths and with the right connections would finish work and do 'night shift'. So after 4yrs of solid using, buying, selling, trading, being awake too long etc etc I got to the point where this just was not a sustainable lifestyle, people were getting caught, people narking, distrust of close friends and a previous charge fought vigorously and cleared didn't help. So I walked away with the help of a friend that mistakenly turned into a gf.

So things were good, was managing a landscape supplies yard and had good money coming in, had an 'emergency fund' and kept all the toys and good things to keep a good lifestyle. My gf ended up being a psychopathic nutjob and caused me ridiculous amount of grief, mentally & financially.

So here I am writing this, over the years I have had about a dozen hospital visits with severe chest pains which are still undiagnosed. Also on occasion get unbearable abdominal pains, twitches and can't keep still. For a period of time I had issues with perception, I struggled to rationalize with myself that friends/family/work colleagues were being upfront with me and didn't have other agendas.

In the last 6yrs I have sorted most of my issues out. I stopped being overly obsessed with work, moved back in with friends, got a good social life back, back to being outdoors etc etc. Moved to Victoria from Qld after meeting my partner through the car club we are both involved in, shortly after we had a little girl an along with her two boys have a good little family. During the time my partner picked up on my anxiety and suggested that I go speak to a doctor and to get a diagnosis with a psych. I to that point didn't realize it plus no one around me had said anything prior to then. It was good to do that as it gave some reasoning medically and mentally to how I have been for a while. I didn't want to go on medication as I did not wish to become dependent on something although I didn't find the methodology of the psych to suit me. I started on SSRIs in low dose to see how I reacted, for a month I was up and down like a yoyo, and was not enjoyable for myself and the family however we pressed through. The SSRIs are a catch 22, they are a manipulator of the mind and in some instances are a falsifier to what's going on around you emotionally and then the other side is they actually do help with daily life. I've noticed vast amounts of positive change. I am on 200mg of Zoloft daily, and am comfortable adjusting dosage if required. I have tried a couple of others with mixed results, notably making me want to sleep within an hour of taking and then drowsy so was dangerous driving/operating cars & plant.

However all is not rosy, I am a project manager and am susceptible to ludicrous stress levels and last Tuesday night I had an episode where my missus & kids came home to find me on the floor in the lounge, incoherent, breathing erratically and eyes rolling in my head.... I had burnt out. Come Wednesday morning aside from a headache and waking up on the lounge I had no idea what had happened the night before. Bit scary after 4yrs of no attacks and no signs of it coming on (used to get chest pain and epic fever before blackouts). In light of that I have actually resigned and will be taking a supervisor role back on building sites, responsibility of people but also not having to answer to a board of directors on what revenue is going where, why, who, how & when and being resolved of keeping subcontractors & customers in line..

So that's me in simplified text, I could probably write a book on things but I am open to questions and answers and an ear to anyone who needs to vent, talk **** or cry (believe me it does happen and 99% of the time you have nfi why you are).....

Cheers, Ash

 

[rotn50]

Hey ash, I too made my own bed and must sleep in it now, I wish the bad choices in my life was a crazy dream I would then wake up from but its not, that's a decent dose of Zoloft buddy, Zoloft worked really well for me and helped heaps, but years and years later I'm now taking pristiq which is for those who relapse into anxiety and depression and for those that haven't, I'm glad to hear you came thru your episode not long ago, that would of really scared your family and to see you resign and take a job less high maintenance will help them breath a sigh of relief and a load off your mind also.

When your younger no one can tell you how the fast lane of life can and will affect you then and now, its something we all choose to learn the hard way and for most its the only way, we seem like were really enjoying it even though we sense it is no good, I used gear in the end to mask my illness and also hide behind when I felt worthless, anxious and depressed.

In Feb I go to my last psych appointment and hope it is my last for good, but I got a good one and has helped me learn to manage my dark days and the skills I need for when I relapse, the day she told me I will relapse I broke down in front of her, I was so scared to here that but I have since then and am stronger for it.

I'm glad you have a loving family and they help you, I do to. Hope all goes well and you now enjoy a simpler life and relax more, thanks for saying your story here mate, all at miniriders appreciate it and i hope those reading can learn from yours/our mistakes, oh yeah and cry, damn if I had a cent for every tear I had shed id be a trillionaire champ, I'm here anytime ya wanna chat ash. Cheers mick

 

[motorman]

Having a bit of a hard time with things at the moment myself.

Misses of 4 and a half years decided to pack up and leave with stuff all reason. Now I'm stuck going home to an empty house. Massive shock I can tell you.

Just trying to keep busy but it's bloody hard. Thought she was the "one" and was just about to propose.

Guess life throws some curve balls at you. Just gotta keep chugging along.